


Whenever It Gets Hard, I'll Hug You

by starryeyedcheol



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Body insecurity, Chubby Hyuck is my favorite Hyuck, Consent is Sexy, Crying, Dirty Talk, Donghyuck does not hate Ten he's just sad, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Idiots in Love, Insecurity, Jealousy, Johnny ur mouth bro it's nasty, Kissing, M/M, Makeup Sex, Making Love, Making Out, Muscle Kink, No beta we die like wei wuxian, Past Relationship(s), Past johnten, Rimming, Smut, Suh Youngho | Johnny is Whipped, Y'all really just looked over Johnny's sunflower tattoo, aight here we go, johnny consent king, lots of praise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:40:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27388864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starryeyedcheol/pseuds/starryeyedcheol
Summary: Johnny's always been there. He's the warmth and the smiles and the only one Donghyuck could ever see himself giving his heart to.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 4
Kudos: 146





	Whenever It Gets Hard, I'll Hug You

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there, I'd just like to say this is probably not even real but it is sort of based on a realistic situation. We don't know their lives but if I were asked to give my interpretation of what happened, this is it. I love every single person mentioned in this fic so please do not take any of it the wrong way. Now that that's out of the way, did y'all for real just go "oh yeah whatever that's cute" when Johnny told us he got a SUNFLOWER tattoo. cmon man. anyway enjoy as always and don't forget to follow me on twt @slutfullsun

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"I'm sorry I'm not Ten," who the fuck even cries over this, Donghyuck wonders while there's thick tears brimming in wait to roll down his cheeks. "I don't have the privilege of having you wrapped around my finger for years. Of getting to sit on your dick and then throw myself at every other man I work with. But you don't seem to bat an eye, like he's some sort of god."

Donghyuck can not believe how livid the situation is making him, his fists curling and wanting so badly to sock Johnny in the face. "Why do I have to be the tan one with the moles and the round eyes? I don't look like a sexy cat, Johnny. Why do you think they called me your son for god sake? I don't have the perfect sexy body, I'm fucking fat, didn't you see them calling me it?" He can barely think with how loudly all the anger is rushing through his brain, hands shaking from frustration and pure hatred for himself.

"And what about you, Donghyuck?" Johnny's voice cracks, uncertainty laced in his tone. He knows before it comes out that Donghyuck is more than aware.

"What about me, hm? You think I was supposed to wait for you to get your head out of your ass? Do you want me to tell you that I got Mark Lee, the most heterosexual man I've had the displeasure of dealing with, to fuck me? Maybe I bent over for the entire practice room while you were balls deep in Ten. But only one of us would be lying."

Johnny has known Donghyuck for a little under half of the younger's life, and he knows the sharp tongue hiding behind plump lips and small teeth. "You better watch yourself, Seo, because you should remember who fans will protect. And believe that the sun will burn you fucking alive." He prods at Johnny's chest with a manicured fingernail. He's stopped biting them, a habit Johnny trained him out of. The tears are freely flowing now, his face still red with madness heating his skin. Johnny has always been weak for Donghyuck crying.

"I didn't- when I spent the night at the WayV dorm, we didn't do anything. I know Ten is persuasive but you have to believe me, love."

His sweet voice chokes Donghyuck up, constricts his breathing to the point he thinks he might pass out. Johnny is so sweet, has never steered Donghyuck wrong and assures him of his loyalty. He never imagined seeing Ten's actual face for the first time in months would make him go nuts. He practically screamed at the top of his lungs, searching for something to throw and finding nothing at all but his own hands flailing around in attempts to shoo Ten from the room. It isn't his fault that Donghyuck feels so strongly and scares himself with how little his confidence in securing Johnny is.

They call them father and son, like a thriving family. The thought makes Donghyuck nauseous after all the years he shoved his shorts up higher so Johnny would look in his direction. He called him Youngho-hyung once by accident, watched the way it made him choke on water, satisfaction coursing through him. He jerked off in the shower because of it for weeks. He wasn't ever pretty enough though, not the way Ten was. He wasn't sexy and seductive and flexible like Ten was, like Ten is.

"Don't ever do that again. You may care about your job, but I don't give a fuck whether I'm an idol. I will leave without a second thought, Johnny. I'm not going to tear myself apart for a man who can't control-" he cuts himself off to grab hold of the crotch of Johnny's jeans, "his fucking head."

Getting a tattoo, according to Johnny, didn't hurt as badly as he worried himself all night for. The sunflower was such a pretty, bright contrast against the darker skin of Johnny's arm; such a stupid fucking idea of him to get a sunflower of all things. The original idea had been to cover it up by telling nctzens it was meant as a sign for strength. The sunflower is always reaching for the sun and gaining energy from its resilient light. In the subdued luminosity of an early Saturday morning, Johnny had kissed the meaning into Donghyuck's skin. Donghyuck is his light, the sun he grows from and attains life from. He's Johnny's forever.

Right now Donghyuck feels nothing like the brilliant ball of fire looming overhead in the height of the day. He feels cold as a tombstone under a blanket of dismal snow, like nothing at all, numb at the fingertips. He's walked all around the building, not wanting anything to do with travelling any distance knee to knee with Johnny. Donghyuck will sleep on the floor of the practice room before he sleeps within feet of him. He's sweating after running laps to keep himself busy, his phone almost dead. He puts it on the charger and scrolls through instagram, anything to keep him from the inevitable shame of trying to sleep on the hard wooden floor under his jacket. The door opens and closes behind him.

"I knew I would find you here all alone, sulking."

"Not all of us know how to deal with our emotions, Taeyong-hyung."

He sits next to Donghyuck on the torn old bench they've worn out with their tired asses and scuffed up shoes over the years. A few of the scraps cut into his thighs. Taeyong has on a pink sweater two sizes too big for him, black sweatpants baggy, cute berets scattered in his curled hair. Donghyuck always wished to grow up like Taeyong, captivating with big intimidating eyes and the sweetest personality on the planet. They all tell him he grew up as a devil instead, not that they weren't telling the truth; Donghyuck hates it.

"He locked himself in the room since he got there. You need to talk to him, Hyuck ah, he's a mess. He's always a mess when you fight."  
For some strange reason, Taeyong never needs to say much. He's naturally intuitive, able to quell Donghyuck's anger easily. It's the instinct built into him after having to shut down so many cat fights as the leader of their large and chaotic group. No one ever expected them to all get along, not even Taeyong, but Donghyuck tries nonetheless to handle his own problems. It's times like these when Donghyuck wishes he had fallen in love with Taeyong instead.

"Yongie," his words strain, "I'm so afraid to lose him."

Taeyong laughs wholeheartedly, quietly. "You won't lose him," he says with a pat to Donghyuck's knee, "because Ten wasn't the one he spent hours putting together a photo book for."

It's an old book with ugly floral printing on the cover that Donghyuck is obsessed with. The colors stand out behind the note laminated to the front. It's the one from their first month, Donghyuck so in love and so unsure of how he could possibly have feelings for anyone other than himself. The handwriting was sloppy and awful but Johnny had muffled his complaints with a deep kiss. Taeyong found him asleep, the book propped open to the middle where four polaroids of them making stupid faces were arranged neatly in the sleeves. They were so happy.  
"Thanks hyung," he calls behind him as he makes a run for the heavy door of the practice room.

There are three people in the world who have a key to Donghyuck and Johnny's room, the two of them and Taeyong. Behind the backs of management and the company, they bought and installed a new doorknob onto the door to their room. It was their safe space away from the others and away from the world in general. Donghyuck remembers picking out the cute fairy lights, the big rug in the shape of a frog. Johnny filled the cart with two bean bags and little rainbow blankets. They pretended to be fancy interior decorators for an hour until they tripped over each other and spent the rest of the day making out on that frog shaped rug.

Now their room stays a fucking disaster. There's clothes stacked on both of the bean bag chairs, the frog rug askew from underneath them, half folded up on itself. A lump perfectly Johnny sized is tucked under the baby blue covers of their bed. If only their manager could see the inside of their room, how gay that singular bed looks, they'd be fired for sure. "I'm taking a shower." When the bathroom door closes behind him it feels like a huge sigh of relief. The shake in his breathing is still there at the mere will it took to say those four words to Johnny. He hates how worked up he is, hates how dirty he feels, hates that it's ruined his day.

He stands there for a moment, letting the hot water soak his hair and just waiting for his hands to become steady again. The shampoo they share is useless in making him forget about his short temper or the betrayal in Johnny's eyes. They used to lather each other up and share gentle kisses. Johnny would scratch his fingers over Donghyuck's scalp and press close to his body to kiss his shut eyelids. Donghyuck flips the water to cold a split second before he turns it off, shocking his body out of its exhausted state. He still isn't calm. Johnny is sitting up on his laptop when Donghyuck emerges from the bathroom with nothing but a towel wrapped around himself.

They stare at each other for a brief second, a few ticks that feel like a day. Johnny looks away first, out of embarrassment, Donghyuck assumes. He's seen Donghyuck bare as he was born and yet Donghyuck is ashamed at how he looks away. It's his fault Johnny is like this. Taeyong was right, he's always right about everything. "Move over," Donghyuck demands, already climbing onto the bed and smacking Johnny in the stomach with his arm. Johnny makes a face like he's been kicked, crumpling up and attempting to face away from Donghyuck.  
"I'm sorry," Johnny whispers, sounds like he might cry, and when Donghyuck grips on his big arm to yank him so they're facing, he is crying. "It's not even a secret that me and Ten were together, but I acted like we weren't. And I shouldn't have just hung out with him like you didn't exist. I knew it would hurt you and I knew what you'd assume by it. I'm so sorry," he gasps through wheezing breathes and, fuck, he's panicking.

"Hey, Johnny. Look at me. In and out just like we practiced, okay? Look at me."

He's stunning, Donghyuck thinks, with nice brown eyes that sparkle and the shape of his lips so beautiful Donghyuck always wants to kiss him. Donghyuck breathes with him, in through their noses and out through their mouths until Johnny stops sobbing. "It's okay, really. I threw a tantrum without even asking you what really happened. I trust you, Johnny. I know I can't keep letting my temper get the better of me."

Sometimes Donghyuck forgets he's one of the youngest in the group. Having Johnny around really matured him from a brat to a potential leader, Taeyong tells him. He's too agressive to be anyone's leader, too nosy and mean when he doesn't intend to be, or even when he does intend to be. Donghyuck doesn't think so much that he's changed, just that Johnny fell too in love with him and talks him up to Taeyong. Other times, he remembers what it's like to be babied. Johnny leans in to kiss him and Donghyuck's worries melt. He cups the side of Donghyuck's face with those big hands that fit just right on any part of his body.

They fall easily, Donghyuck underneath him, fingers lacing through the long strands of Johnny's hair. Johnny kisses the length of his torso, sucking lightly on his nipples, pecking every mole and listening to him gasp. It's humiliating, makes Donghyuck red as Johnny bites carefully at his tummy. "Stop that. I hate how it makes me look." Johnny ignores him like any other time Donghyuck self deprecates, continuing his path to the wet towel barely remaining over his lower half. Johnny is the more shameless of the two, undoing the folded cloth to throw it on the floor and smother Donghyuck's thighs in more kisses.

"Can't believe you called yourself fat. Can't believe you say you're not sexy when you look like this. You're beautiful, baby. I always want you. It's just you."

He bites the inside of his thighs, leaving faint teeth marks over the golden flesh covering Donghyuck's body. "Can you spread your legs for me, sweetheart?" Donghyuck complies, one arm thrown over his eyes because of how thoroughly embarrassed he is. Johnny brushes a thumb over his dry hole and Donghyuck whines. He soon replaces it with his mouth, blowing a cool puff of air before diving in with his tongue. Johnny digs his fingers into the thickness of his thighs to ground himself. He licks around Donghyuck's rim, fucking gently in with his tongue and making Donghyuck shiver. "Johnny," he draws out with a moan.

Johnny comes up for air to kiss back up his body, fumble around in their bedside stand for lube and make a successfully acquired noise. He barely tosses it on the bed before his arm starts to cramp from the position. Donghyuck stares at him for a good second, basking in his strong jaw and his sharp eyes; he's so beautiful it aches in Donghyuck's stomach. Johnny kisses either of his temples, "Is this okay? Are we okay?" Donghyuck honestly forgot that they were fighting hours ago, only wants Johnny to hold him close and prove he loves Donghyuck more than anyone. And he's selfish, so rightfully selfish to be acting this way. He waited so long with hate comments and people despising him for someone to finally like him.

"We're good," he spreads his legs further, "we're so good now please get in me Youngho-hyung." His lips feel swollen and Johnny is looking at him, mouth agape and eyes full glossy. Johnny dips in Donghyuck's loosened hole with one long, thick finger. He shivers just a bit until the warm insides of his body heat up the lube. Johnny thrusts the finger gently, waiting and watching Donghyuck's every expression. He's always paying attention to his movements and Donghyuck loves him so much more. The second finger stretches him so wonderfully as Johnny spreads them, his hole squelching shamefully loud.

"You're doing so well, my love. So pretty for me right now," he curls his finger up into Donghyuck's prostate. Donghyuck moans out, breathy as anything when Johnny continues to jab in that sensitive spot. "Please ah-" Johnny slips in a third finger easily enough not to burn Donghyuck, but he feels it. He's sweating a bit between his thighs and he hates that Johnny doesn't even notice how close they are to his head without any force. Donghyuck is not always skinny and the image korean fans want him to be. "I can hear you thinking and it's so fucking loud," Johnny kisses his knee.

That's it. He doesn't say more as he's pulling his fingers from Donghyuck and slicking them around his cock. Donghyuck loves Johnny's body, the slight muscle of his abs that isn't super defined but still beautiful. Even the most valued statues weren't perfect. His arms could choke Donghyuck until he passed out and god, his cock. Donghyuck loves the size of it, the way his mouth fits around it and the way it hits the back of his throat just right. Johnny looks into his eyes, pupils blown, he's predatorial and so fucking hard. Donghyuck wraps his legs loosely around Johnny's hips as he lines up. The first push is always uncomfortable in a way Donghyuck can't describe. Johnny leans in to kiss him again, hand petting the side of Donghyuck's hair while he lets his hips slide forward a bit further.

"Fuck, baby, you're amazing." Donghyuck keens at his praise, clenching his thighs at the feeling of Johnny filling him up. He rests when he's all the way inside and Donghyuck is panting already. Johnny is so nice to him, caressing the flushed skin of his cheek as he folds Donghyuck in half, pushing his cock in that much more. Donghyuck whines, "It's so much, hyung." Johnny kisses him with fervor, tongue slipping passed Donghyuck's lips and his hand tangling in Donghyuck's tousled hair. He waits patiently, though, never rushing Donghyuck to be ready and Donghyuck fucking loves him. The uncomfortable stretch subsides into a subtle ache. Donghyuck pulls away from the kiss to put their foreheads together; he nods.

The first thrust curls Donghyuck's toes, pushes the breath right out of his lungs. He feels so good. Johnny whispers in his ear late at night that he's always hungry for it, never satisfied unless he's sitting on a cock. He's right. Donghyuck lets the pleasure overtake him, stir low in his gut as Johnny takes him apart. He's next to Donghyuck's ear breathing hard when he bites the shell and says, "My good boy. You're taking me so well." Donghyuck chokes on his own moan, his fingers gripping onto Johnny's shoulders tightly.

"Shut the fuck up," he wheezes out.

"What? You are. So cute with your blushing face and your pretty little cock standing up for me," he runs his finger over the red tip of Donghyuck's hard length. Donghyuck shivers. "You're so tight around me, baby, even when I stretched you out. Want me to stay in you forever, huh? Your little hole keeps sucking me in." He's so annoying, making Donghyuck squirm and writhe with his words. Johnny flexes his hips forward a few good times, his hips smacking loudly against Donghyuck's ass in the otherwise silence of their room. "Love you, remember that," Johnny kisses into his forehead. "Love your tummy when you eat well, love your pretty lips and your big round eyes and all the moles on your pretty tan skin."

Donghyuck cries out when Johnny thrusts harshly into his prostate. He can feel real, salty tears falling down his cheeks and some end up in his mouth. Johnny chuckles at him, wiping them away with his thumb and fucking into Donghyuck faster. "Look at you, my love. So beautiful like this," he flips some of the sweaty hair off his own forehead. Donghyuck loves how long it is, freshly dyed blonde like it was when he was a trainee. The fans went nuts over it, he remembers checking the comments on Instagram. He's bracing his arm next to Donghyuck's head and Donghyuck turns at the right angle to kiss his sunflower tattoo.

"Fuck," Johnny's hips stutter, "you're gonna make me cum if you keep doing shit like that." He says it in English and Donghyuck is fortunate enough to have been paying attention when Johnny teaches him. He runs a hand through the hair slicked back blonde strands and grinds back into Johnny's thrusts. All the confidence he posseses courses through his fingertips. He leans in to brush his lips over Johnny's cheek, "cum inside me, Youngho-hyung." Johnny makes a sound like he's been punched and he's cumming, hips jerking against Donghyuck's prostate as he fills him with cum. The sensation is almost enough to send Donghyuck over the edge, but Johnny stills before he gets there.

He's still hard enough sitting in Donghyuck's hole to keep pressure on his sweet spot. Johnny wraps a big hand around Donghyuck's leaking cock. Donghyuck whines long and high, he's so close it's painful. Johnny kisses his collar bones and jerks him off with a skilled hand, whispering about how he loves him so much. "My gorgeous sunshine," and Donghyuck is cumming so hard he sees white spots. His head spins for a bit and when he comes down, Johnny is wiping his stomach and hole with a washcloth. He's quietly singing a song Donghyuck thinks he knows, carefully fingering all of his cum out and wiping it off with the cloth. Donghyuck is too tired to take a bath tonight even though he'll regret it in the morning. Johnny knows him well enough to get him mostly clean.

Johnny pets Donghyuck's hair after he climbs under the covers to wrap his body around him. "You back yet?" Donghyuck hums and tucks his head into Johnny's neck. "I know sometimes you feel like you're not enough, or that someone will come along that's better than you. I know you get jealous of what me and Ten were, but I'm not going anywhere. I'm over it. I'm happy right where I am." He sounds sad and Donghyuck wishes he could take back every dumb thing he said to make Johnny feel responsible for his jealousy. He's too drowsy and manages to squeeze out a sleepy, "I love you," before he passes out completely. He wakes up early to see Johnny's asleep face next to his and this, he thinks, is enough. 

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**Author's Note:**

> uhhhhh. yehet.


End file.
